Sunday, June 28 @ 5:09 PM 
WARNING: This post sounds offensive. :( Stop right here or else you'll get angry or whatsoever. This is just my opinion and I want to let it out.

(Didn't proofread. Please excuse the grammar/spelling/misspelled-words of the same sound or thought.)

I still have mixed feelings. This is a big step for humanity where the US legalizes same-sex marriage. 

Truth be told, I am a homophobe. I dislike watching homosexuals strolling round the streets and having PDAs. And around facebook, where there are videos of two young boys kissing. And even two drunk adult men, caught on video, making out on the streets! I feel sick of watching them.

BUT don't get me wrong. I'm particularly selective when it come to homosexuals. I I AM DEEPLY SORRY WHEN SAYING 'HOMOSEXUALS' SOUNDS STEREOTYPE OR OFFENSIVE. :( Anyways, I love gays. OPEN gays are my favorite type of friends! They are fun and jolly to be around. These are the type of people who is open and they like men only. 

I am a selective homophobe. Because the only thing I dislike about the homosexuals are those CLOSETED males. (But there are exemption, too.)

Take a look for example the pictures I posted above. You know what hurts in that picture? The fact that the wife was left by the husband to be with his lover. AND YES THIS IS JUST LIKE THE SOAP OPERA, "My husband's lover." Because of these type of people, it results to a broken family. (Based on the pictures.)

I don't have a lot of words to justify where I stand. And what I'm going to say would sound totally contradicting.. Here it goes, "Please save yourself from entering into a relationship, let along MARRIAGE, where you are unsure of." 

I don't disagree about homosexuality relationships. But I DON'T SUPPORT homosexual marriage. This would sound so selfish but the world would be fucking imbalance! Marriage is just a different thing okay?  I BELIEVE AND STAND IN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN. And as long as it is NOT legalized here in my country, I am at ease.

It's easy for a person to say he/she supports the community-- for I, myself, was a big supporter of IT before (you know, love is equal for all?). But it's just so different if you experienced it for yourself what I have been in. And so in the end, could you really still say you support same-sex wholeheartedly? For me, no.

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Saturday, June 27 @ 11:14 AM 
Let me share to you my three stages of anger: annoyance, hatred, and loathe.

First, I get annoyed. Well, this usually don't last long. I get irritated by things and I get to recover all about it in just minutes/hours/day. It's bothersome though, but it's not a big deal. It doesn't really affect my life.

But when something consistently annoys me, I develop hatred to that person. In a form if they tease or bully me. I get hurt by their words and it bothers me for weeks or months. But the thing about hatred is that I tend to forgive or just shake it off and continue to being friends with them soon. Sometimes, I cry due to hatred. And mostly, I just naturally hate a person from what they did to me.

Third, this is the dangerous part. And honestly, I hate how I'm this kind of person. I am forgiving even if how many times you made me cry but.... There's always a BUT right? The moment I reach my boiling point, I explode. It's mostly cumulative from what you have done to me. They say, forgive to have your mind at peace, but unfortunately, I am the type of person WHO HOLDS GRUDGES. I still can't believe this is who I am. Everyone knows me as a bubbly, carefree person. But sadly, I have this side of me. I surprise myself sometimes. Lol.

When I develop loathe for a person, you're as good as dead to me. It's not my intention to feel this way. But when I reach my max, I say, "This is enough. I don't deserve this. I need to respect myself to get away from this situation-- not hold unto it." When I loathe, I will not care of your existence anymore. You no longer affect me. I will not think of even trying to being friends because there's nothing to hold unto. I don't give a fuck anymore. It's different from HATRED because I kinda still care for a person and wanna be friends with them again. 

To loathe means to feel indifferent. If you're there infront of me, I don't feel anything because you're just a stranger to me. You get my point? Well, that's my definition of it, though. At first I would feel that it's a loss. But then as it turns into loathing, I will not care anymore on what you do, feel, anything about everything. Cut-off connections. Zero. Gone.

In my 20 yrs of existence, there are around 2-3 people I loathe. Can't believe the first one was in my highschool who was my first prom partner. Lol! I'll never forget how he mistreated me. In addition and in contradiction to hatred, when I loathe, I'll forever hate you and never forget how you treated me. Well, at least, a part of me has a forever, right? Haha.

Just some random thoughts to ponder this morning. Good day! Have a wonderful life. Stay loved! Haha.

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