Every morning it's always been like this. I want this to stop but how could I fool myself from what I actually feel. I'd like to share some excerpt from the movie I like: Best of Me:
Sunday, April 19 @ 10:10 AM
All right, Amanda. Listen to me. I wanted to do something good. And I wanted to save you from some of the pain.
- You didn't save me from anything. I lived with the pain every day of my life, Dawson, and I blame you. I blame you for thinking you knew what was best for me when it was you that was best for me.
I know. I couldn't have you wait for me. There was so much you wanted to do.
- But I wanted to do it with you. And I would have waited for as long as it took.
I didn't deserve you, Amanda.
- Oh, deserve me? Jesus, Dawson. Don't you understand? When I had Jared, and I know this is wrong, but do you know that when I had him I wanted to tell you. And when I lost Bea... I wanted you to hold me. And when I was alone at night, I wanted... I wanted you and I cried for you and I hated you and I hated you because... because I would have chosen you no matter what, and you took that away from me.
I made a mistake.
- Yes, you did.
I did. I hurt you.
- But see, I still love you.
I still love you.
I know this has to stop. But I couldn't and I won't. Even if it would take me months or years.
Labels: rant, sad, tsk