Pers Lab

by - 10:29 PM

Ewwww. Sounds so cheesy, right?

Well, forgive this post and the next words I'm going to tell you. This is a very nostalgic moment for me. I do not know what had urged me to write this topic but I think there would be a bottomline...

My parents and I we're driving home and the radio played, 'Someday We'll Know' which was followed by some Mandy Moore songs. Like what the hay, are they trying to trick me or something? The thing about these songs, is that I associate it to someone I know. Or let's just say... somebody that I used to know? :P

Okaay let me warn you that you might know who I will be talking about. AND in my defense, I don't care. I mean there's nothing left to say. It's done. Over. Zero. You ready? I will be sharing to you a very sentimental (but over) piece of my life. So here it goes:

It's been a year and a half since I first met this, uhm, person. I think I saw that person first during our nstp and from that moment I saw him..... he looked so familiar. Well fast forward, I kept denying that I was madly in love (pwe, ew. haha). Because I think I was utterly obsessed?  It was my first time ever in my life that I was distracted. Like you could totally relate to every love songs? And your friends kept telling you're blooming. You go to class early everyday and when you just see that person, it's a brighter day! (ew)

But I don't wanna detail what happen because it will become toooooo obvious. If you'll have an intensive research through my blog, you'll discover how obsessed I was. -- Happily but still-controlled feelings though. But every story has a falling part/denouement. Well you might think because it's unrequited? Hahaha, no. I just know. It's not assuming at all because it's a mutual understanding kind of relationship thing. I know that if he'll just asked that one question, then I will be his. But the sad thing about it......  is that it's not only me.

That guy is so dumb that he thought he might have this shot with this other girl which is sooo obvious that there's no chance between them at all. I always believed at 'giving the best shot for the last time'. And so I did. We had this project where we teamed up. I knew it was the dream. But on that day, it just made me realized that it's completely over. Nothing.

This run through for almost a year. He was there at the party. We danced. But it was like a farewell kind of dance. He got this long message he gave. I knew I have to feel something but there's just nothing. There's this inner gut feeling of, 'too late'.

I practically learned a huge big lesson. And it taught me how to handle things like this maturely. I learned that I should not over give what I don't have. And I know this is just too bad. But I'm afraid what he did to me..... I apply it to others. WHICH IS FREAKING BAD I KNOW. It's purely unintentional. I don't want to do it. (as if there is, though?) I don't wanna be like him. Nor I don't want to be Summer in 500 days of Summer. Ehehe

So anyway, I saw that person again last tuesday in Centrio with his arms around his girl. I guess he found his at last and I am about to find mine. The expected feeling would be I might be jealous but you know what? I just feel neutral. I'm happy he has his and that's it. He's just another entity and totally unrelated to me.

And as the song goes; 'Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you'...? Now I know. Because of that incident I think I found mine. ACHUCHUCHU. But I know this 'mine' person is still in love with his past (not gf but love) -- but I don't care. I will wait (until he'll love me back? ACHICHICHI). And when that time comes I will be singing, 'Please be careful with my heart'. 'I will be true to you.' ACHACHACHA. haha. Sounds so ewnezz.

But unlike before, I will have a different approach. Not like the past. But this time, I will be patient. Because I fell in love through the songs he sings and the piano he plays. (HEHEHE) AYAW SABA. I just feel/ I just like him because I know that I'll be proud to have him. (ABLABLABLA HAHA) It was truly an eye opener when I saw this statement that goes: 'Be with someone you're proud to have with and vice versa' (revised statement)

And the thing about 'pers lab' is they do die. HEHE.

I know this will hurt me. But I just don't care. I must not have any expectations. Oh well. So corny.

♥ Cathypurry

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