toe knee

by - 6:03 PM


Today, we celebrated, in advance, the birthday of clarissa and camille. I don't wanna detailed the story. So this is what happened.

I few days ago, we got some few misunderstandings on our group. from all the *congratz2x thing, all we're greeting toni and I was like sup?

So everyone knows from our group that I don't like relationships and i am against to justin. So when I heard I was like OK. You know, it wasn't that klaro but I was mad that time.

Due to the emotions rushing in my blood, all the adrenaline rush I posted this:

Men, I can't make a dramatic post right now coz I feel happy after I ate ice cream so just bear with this ok?
I forgot what to say so fast forward ----------

Back to the party, toni came and we didn't really talked. I only said hi then that's it. I can't bear to talk to her because of the AWKWARDNESS not because I'm mad like what the others called it.

Then after the party, we separated ways with the c6kst+frany and layne and some of us went to MUST to get some diploma. So sheila here, kept on saying, "pagbati namu ni toni buh!", "luoy baya kayo to siya sa iyang tumblr~". Clarissa added, "sala dyud na nimu bah." blah blah. I wondered what she put there. And during sheila's practice there was a public wifi so, she forced me to go to toni's tumblr then let me read the post.

then i read this paragraph (an excerpt):

all I could say was WOW.

yep she texted us, "girlfriends! c6kstb."
when i received this text, i don't have a load on my tm. so hello? how can I reply? *but i was really happy and intrigue si I hurriedly signed in on my fb*
when I saw a post from clar: "TONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my!!!! i should congratulate you :) hahahhaha. mar! :*"
on the news feed, there were a lot of congrats to toni. and i was like, what happened??
and there, I found out the event that happened there saying" si toni na ug justin"

gosh, u know c6kstb knows especially toni that I dislike justin. how would you expect me -- to reply to it? "congratulations?" duh. absoutely, i would get mad! I was like WHATEVER. But that didn't mean that I didn't care for her. SHE KNOWS how I treated her like a sis until we stepped on 4th year where everyone was teasing her for justin. everyday, i'm feeling left out from her experience day-to-day (on that year.) that's the reason we weren't that close anymore. We used to talk our personal experiences during 2nd year with camille. I really really like her (more than camille) because I think she was the coolest girl I've ever met. From how she designs her profile on friendster and all the doodles she makes (as far as i can remember.)

But then something went wrong, we reached on the 3rd year and i noticed the she's starting to hide something from me. I still remember she codes him Mr. J. I really thought he was julian or justin jabagat but I didn't expect it was justin acera. I didn't even know him until he kinda became popular on 4th year. So before we used to tease toni about sesame seed, because the guy still had a relation with another girl. but that time i still voted for him and toni. Until the guy and another girl split up and cam, toni and I was happy :P. so they were like starting to go out with each other, it was still ok for me until that on incident justin went out again with sesame seed. So it's like toni's life shattered into pieces. then 4th year came, bla bla de bla bla. I noticed, toni was secretly hiding something from me. hmm. she joined the yfc (i think she already did on 3rd year? but i forgot) and after that I feel so out of place on her life. There were so many thing that I wanted to ask but I couldn't. she's not the toni I used to hang out anymore. we're still bffs but there were some kind of barrier which I couldn't break to her heart. Until one day, the tease became famous for justin and toni.

I just couln't trust him after that guy hanged out then went back for another girl and hang out again to toni. You know i love toni and I don't want her to get hurt, she's like my little sister. SHE KNOWS I'm against him. that's why I post those piece of shit on our group because I was expressing what I feel.

anyway, my word for the month is HILAS. so get urself used to the word I am using.

the thing that I didn't like about toni is that she is so pessimistic. it's like everything i do is all bad and just search the definition about the word.

So back to our group on fb, I noticed that toni wasn't there anymore. you know the list of names, members? DUH, UNSA KAHA IMONG MAHUNA HUNAAN ABOUT ANA? na hurt na gani ka sa news na pa dyud ato nga incident. that why i posted there: "nanguyab lang gane, mamiya na nuon". COME ON, PUT YOURSELF ON MY SHOES and know what I feel.

--exted them but they don’t really care

ano ba yan, please I, myself, don't represent our group only. i hate it when she typed THEY. it was not they but only --me-- that didn't care. clarissa congratulated her, she wasn't part of THEY. karol was also happy, camille, sheila. COME ON.

---They don’t even like me. They hated me. (adrenaline rush!)

and here comes the word, pessimistic. just because clar, jas, and karol reacted to my post doesn't mean we hated her. Have she ever thought us like her sisters? say, if u have a sister, how would u react after u heard ur sis has a bf?
come on, do not use they, because i know ur only referring to me.

----kagabi di ko talaga matake yung pinagmumukha sa akin kung gaano ako kabwesit,

kami na noh? DID WE MUKHA YOU BWESIT? ows, kaw ra gaingun. Pag.inum og ENERVON oi! para everyday mas happy! yes, I'm serious. Remember, that we got hurt when we THOUGHT you left our group. HOW WOULD YOU EXPECT US TO REACT ON THAT ONE?


If I hated her
---would I create this video?

Happy Birthday Toni!

I even made a youtube account just to upload this vid that I've been workin' on for weeks!

---would I even gave effort on treating them like a tourist on our place in bugo?
My parents even treated them like my sisters! they were the 1st one who visited our house on HS years! (CAmTonHY)

----would she even be on the c6kstb?

hilasa dyud oi. and it hurts when she said
"I’m not sure if I’m REALLY part of the group ever since"


to toni, I'm sure you'll be reading this on the near future,

You said we didn't care when you texted us, u felt alone when you needed badly to tell the very most "fairytale" experience (once in a life time moment) of your life. By putting myself unto your shoes, I know you just wanted a friend to talk to the most enchanted thing that happened.

I did thought that it took guts for justin to do that to you. It's like you've always dream of because I know you like those proposal scenes, weddings and all that. Yep, I still remember when you brought those magazine about the wedding photography. and yes at that time I know, you must be expecting we should all be proud and say, wow! that was so awesome!

But let's face the fact, you can't blame me for being against your relationship. You can't never expect me to be happy for you two. I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT ALREADY. I'm sorry I could never be that supportive friend, the jolly friend you used to know. And I know that the once shining friendship we had can't shine again.

I just hate it when you used THEY. Please, I know it's only for me, ayaw sila damaya. Do not feel that you were never part of the group. you know the ILANG thing? yep, that's what keeping us apart. Naiilang because of that guy.

----Now tell me, who else could be there for me?

Do not limit yourself to us girl! I know you've got friends, A LOT of them. And remember, it's not WE can't be ther for you. It's only I , not we. You've got clarissa who u can share all ur happy thougths, sheila, CAMILLE, karol, ann, cy , ann, bec and jas. I'm sorry I can't be there for you if the topic is about love coz u know I hate it. REMEMBER WE HAVE 10 MEMBERS. You've got 8 friends whom you can share your thought with.


men, it took me 2 hours to make this. But I know, this will be worth it. to clear our thoughts and mind.

♥ Cathypurry

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