Quick note

by - 9:00 PM

It is a special day on the day after the busiest day of the week coz u know why? Jajaja. It is the day when that person came to life. We're not close but I still thought what is that person |it| experiencing now from its new challenge in life. I can't express my feeling completely because I can't concentrate completely.

Anyway, there's this friend whom I'm afraid to have a relationship. I don't know why I dislike it but I think she is really close to my heart and I can not afford watching her having a relationship because it's disgusting. I feel sorry for her mom not knowing it IF she will have a relationship. Well that guy whom she's liking is nice, good and everything but I see that person as only a younger brother. If only he's not having such an affair to my friend, I think I will really like him to be my friend. I don't get why my other friends approve of their relationship IF they have coz they will really look stupid /wai angay/ if u ask me. I treat that friend as my sister already and I'm just being protective to her. But if she's really going to have an affair with him then I can't stop her anymore because anyway, that's her life and I can't just control her.

And I can't take the pressure I'm feeling now because of our RESEARCH!! Well our study is quit easy but I'm afraid the outcome will fail! But I believe: "With God, you'll make it through" so yeah. I need to catch up in my studies because I'm dropping out of the honor's list if u know what I mean. I can't understand the lesson if I don't like the teacher. I'm having a small grade because of that. But then I believe, it is a big challenge for me and I just need to fight for it. I want to cry right now because I know I will disappoint my parents in graduation. I can't fulfill the promise that I gave to them :'[. It hurts knowing reality that I'll never make it. But who knows.

These past few weeks I've been always thinking of my future but not paying attention in present. That is why I tend to loose focus on what I'm doing. And I am also afraid of the disease-causing germs that is surrounding me like oh my. Because I have a weak immune system u know! I am afraid to have a sore eyes because one of my friends has this and now I'm experiencing an eye-ache /if there is/ jajaja.

God you are the only ONE who can understand me completely and please help me in my every challenges in life.

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